Shut the frick up. Get this. So at work tonight, a guy walks up with under armour pants thingys and an under armour long sleeve t-shirt. He sets this on the counter AS he is talking on his damn phone. I begin to start to take the shirt off the hanger when he suddenly says to his "accomplice" on the phone, "Oh crap, I don't have my wallet! Is my wallet out there in the car?" Upon hearing this, I stop taking the clothes off the hangers. Still on his phone, he says to me, "I gotta go get my wallet," and starts towards the door.

Yea, ok, so the alarms at the door totally go off. I think, um, this looks a little shady. So, I begin to walk swiftly out the door after him. He walks down the sidewalk towards ABC Warehouse where a red Mercury is sitting. He opens the door, about to get into the passengers side. I say, "Sir! The alarm went off. Empty out your pockets for me." He stops, one foot in the car, and says, "What? I don't have anything in my pockets." Likely story. I'm now about 10 yards away from him. I say, "Ok, well show me you don't have anything in your pockets." He says, "No, no I don't," and gets in the car. The car, facing me, GUNS IT IN REVERSE. Flying backwards out of the huge, long parking lot! I think, "Holy shit, it is on, bitches." So, the car, still in reverse, turns to try to do a 3 point turn, and stops for a second. So I take off running after this car to see if I can get the license plate number. Yea, nope, the car floors it in reverse again, going even farther down the parking lot! Finally, they were too far away for me to read their license plate. Let's face it, I don't exactly have eagle-eye vision, but if I did have a zoom button placed on my face somewhere, I would have used it then.

Bastards. Right from under my nose! I hope that a-hole comes into the store again because I remember his face. I will have people on him like white on rice. I keep looking for their car around town.

And excuse me, Mr. Police Officer People. Know how you ALWAYS park right outside of our store and sit and chat with Mr. Police Officer Peoples in a different car? Yea, where were you TODAY?

It amazes me, though, that he walked out RIGHT IN FRONT OF US, probably knew we'd follow him, and then try to get a license plate number. But since they burned rubber in reverse, that wasn't going to happen. Pathetic morons. 

That wasn't even my first customer of the day. This was my first customer of the day:

Lady: I want to return these shoes. They were too narrow for him.

Me: Ok. **I take them out and begin look at the bottoms of the shoes. CLEARLY, without a friggen doubt, they've been worn outside. And there are scuff marks on the damn side!**

Me: Yea, these have been worn, and we have a no return policy on shoes that have already been worn.

Lady: Uh ok, um..but they were too narrow!

Me: Ok, well all I can do is give you a store credit. I can't give you any money back.

Lady: Why?!

Me: Because they've been worn outside (*as I point to the bottom of the shoe*)

Lady: OK, HE DIDN'T WEAR THEM OUTSIDE! HE WORE THEM IN THE GYM!

Me: Ok, next time have him wear them on carpet.

Lady: Fine.

It was quite apparent the shoes had been worn on a dirty floor and had scuff marks on them. Imagine for a moment a huge flashing sign that says "WORN SHOES" and a big-ass red arrow pointing down to a pair of shoes. These shoes would be under that sign.

Kind of reminds me of the lady that wanted to return the jock strap that she admitted had been worn by her kid. Gee, let me go put that one back on the shelf right away for some other kid to strap on.

Son of a.