Nice alliteration, I know. First let me say, I don't think I will be switching to wordpress anytime soon. Kylee informed me that she gets spam on wordpress, too, so I'd just soon avoid the hassle of switching right now. Second, I love it when I'm in a store and see a teenager shopping while listening to his/her iPod. I was that kid, too. And I would still totally do it if I didn't think I looked like I was trying to be cool and young by shopping AND listening to my iPod. Ohh, the throes of being 25. Kidding. I've only been 25 for 3 days. And today is little Miss Shelby's birthday. 1 whole year old. Having a 1 year old niece does make me feel kind of old. My brother better not start having kids any time soon. I will smack him.

Birthday Recap: It was perfect. I hung out with Kara all day. She got me an Everest book AND A FLANNEL SHIRT THAT I LOVE LOVE LOVE. THANK YOU, KARA, THANK YOU. I KNOW YOU AREN'T READING THIS, EITHER. But anyway, we went to Frankenmuth and putzed around at all the cute little Bavarian shops and heard many Germans speaking German there. I always wonder what they think when they get there. Are they impressed? Are they thinking, "like seriously? We came all the way from Deutschland for this?" Are they freezing to death because it's approximately 13 degrees out? Next time I'm there, I'll bust out my German and ask them what they think. We also went to TGIFridays and Barnes and Noble and NY&Co. My brosive got me a B&N gift card which I quickly spent on the new Donald Miller book (the guy who wrote Blue Like Jazz) called...something...but it's totally good thus far. I love how he writes. He kind of rambles, yet it's an interesting ramble. Then, we went back to Kara's house, had a glass of Sangria (yummmm), and watched the first episode of LOST Season 5. I think we are watching more tonight as well...

Ok, so on to the point of this post: Hopeful Happenings. Things that I hope to do this coming year, hopefully to make age 25 one for the ages. Hopefully to make it so good that I'll in fact be inspired to write a memoir on how fantastic of a year I had when I was 25 and everyone will be jealous of me because I had an amazing year and Hollywood will pay me tons of money to make a movie out of my life at age 25. So, here are some thoughts....

-run a 1/2 marathon: Kara and I are looking at the rock-n-roll marathon in Seattle in June which I would love to run and also wear a Nirvana shirt while running, and I think if I do run some type of marathon this year, I want to wear runners shorts (because I really do think they'd be way less annoying than, say, soccer shorts)
-read more novels: movies are my novels, yes, but I want to read more...reading just takes your mind to other places and I want to open my mind to those places. It's therapeautic.
-move away from home: Northern Michigan would be fantastic, I think...but who knows when or if this will happen or if it will even be possible (I wouldn't mind staying in the banking industry), the only place in Southern MI that I think I would love right now is Ann Arbor and that barely makes it on my list
-buy a bike: I really want a road bike...I saw one at a mom-to-mom sale with my sister that was a 10 speed and $20...I wanted it so bad, but at the time I had about 50 cents to my name. Now I have about 50 dollars. I am totally moving up in this world.
-start a piggy bank: I have already started this one...in fact, in 'Muth the other day, I bought a piggy bank can full of tootsie rolls for a dollar, ate them all, and now plan on putting all my change in it...how excited I am about that thing is most likely inconceivable to you
-get a dog: which will most likely only happen if I move out of home this year (please please please, God)
-find a church that I fricken' love: my attitude towards church has changed in the last few months (for the better), and this will most likely only happen if I move out of home this year
-documentary: usually I am all talk when it comes to making a film, but I really want to make a documentary related to my grandfather whom I never met and a lot of my cousins have never met either, so maybe make a doc. about who he was and what he did because it sounds like he did really awesome things that none of us even know about because he's been gone since flippin' 1971 or so....
-become a cook: there is a new show premiering or that already did premiere (I'll have to check my Direct TV) called Worst Chefs. I have yet to see what it offers, but it just screams my name out. I think it will boost my cooking confidence.

I think these are all reachable goals especially if the cards play out right this year. More than anything, though, I just want this year to be really, really unconditionally awesome.

AND, this year is an Olympic year AND A WORLD CUP YEAR!!!!!!!!! WORLD CUP WORLD CUP WORLD CUP WORLD CUP!

Cheers.

Wow, what a fanbloodytastic year. Not. It wasn't all crap, but let's take a look back, eh?

-thyroid retardedness
-all the fun things that come with imbalanced thyroid hormone
-almost needing a blood transfusion
-living in Jackson!!!!
-working in retail!!!!
-living with Kara :) (we are crazy)
-learning the proper technique to changing diapers (including poopy ones without barfing my guts out)
-having a bomb dropped on me and my pant leg by Shelby's colon
-learning how to take care of a baby in general (I'm not a pro, though, but much improved)
-being projectiled on
-watching the little butthead, who is now walking, grow up
-LOST...fantastic season!
-playing soccer at el Summit
-going to Californier to hang with Randi and Ju and Jordan
-my first time at wine-tasting...good thing there was cheese because I'm not sure I would have passed a breathalizer otherwise
-San Diego zoo
-having to pee so bad on an airplane and I couldn't get out because the lady next to me (who was already annoyed with me for some reason) was ASLEEP
-driving to NC with mom and Michael and Michael going into the women's bathroom HAHAHAHAHAHA!...tears streaming down my face
-being the subject of a documentary about how lame my life is
-MOVING AWAY FROM JACKSON!!!!...I really do think this could be the highlight of the year (minus Shelby being borned)
-going to Kylee's wedding in Indy and hanging out downtown with her and Michael, Machen and Brent
-the drive to Indy...when we had to pull off the interstate in BFE so that Machen could change Shelby's diaper because she fumigated the car with a smell that is illegal in most countries
-going to Tennessee for the family reunion and literally staying in the pool alllllllllll day because it was so hot out (it was in the 100s. for real.)
-hanging out with the TN clan...we get into trouble...
-making my cousin Jean almost die a laughter from re-inacting something
-driving myself to NC through the Smokey Mountains (so purdy)
-driving home from NC because turns out that was a big fat wrong idea
-going to a Durham Bulls game
-coming home to a beautiful summer!
-having two straight months where I did nothing but relax....a vacation I needed for two years
-hanging out with family during those summer nights and telling old stories of childhood and laughing hysterically
-going to Petoskey with Kara!!!!...this was seriously one of the most awesome trips of my life, and I better live there someday...
-biking 30 miles round trip...my ass really liked that, too
-getting a job as a bank teller...something I had been trying at for a little while...
-liking my job! (knock on wood)
-feeling better about life and myself

I think I need to make a separate list for my wrap sheet:
-getting breathalized at 1am because a cop thought I was drunk BUT WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE, THANK YOU.
-the initial sobriety test that took place before the actual breathalizer
-seeing a guy run out of Dunham's with a bag full of Nike golf irons
-seeing a lady sprint out of Dunham's with an UnderArmour shirt in her hand (I was even watching her, too, then some idiot customer made me ring him up)
-having a guy come up to check out, yet end up running out of the store with UnderArmour on, getting in a car, that car flooring it in reverse out of the parking lot so that I couldn't see the license plate...unbelievable
-my bank getting robbed...filling out formal statements and everything
-getting a counterfeit bill with a deposit

It's definitely been interesting. I seriously hope 25 will be soooooo good. So freakin' good. Please?

Oh, PS...I'm thinking I'm most likely going to be switching over to WordPress because I am starting to get spam on my comments on this blog and that is NOT okay. I'll let ya know...

I've been feeling very nostalgic lately. I don't know why. Maybe it's because it has snowed in the past week. Snow is probably the one thing that can always make me feel nostalgic because it doesn't snow everywhere. There's always snow at home in the winter. It never fails-some kind of dusting or a huge snow fall. I hate going to warm climates in the winter when it's around holiday time and they have Christmas trees up and fake snow around and stuff. Yeah, still doesn't feel like Christmas. There has to be actual snow for Christmas, you losers.

Anyway, I was also thinking about how even though I am a self-proclaimed faithful lover of winter and snow, I do kind of miss summer. I think it's because I had an AWESOME summer this past summer. It was fantastic. It was filled with nothing more than sitting on my deck all day until dusk hit. I just sat out there and read and listened to music. Oh my gosh, it was so great. I haven't had a summer worth remembering since Ambassadors. I'm not sure where I'll be next summer. Could be here, could be somewhere else. I'm not worried about at the moment.

At work, we listen to an AM radio station and none of you, besides Kara, would get the joke of this radio station unless you grew up here. But at any rate, it plays a lot of like...1950s country (like Johnny Cash and whatnot) and then some early 90s country. In the early 90s, I listened to a lot of country. So I generally like most of it, but it's just old to me. I've moved on. But when I hear it, I think about hanging out at my grandpa's house during the summers going through grade school. That radio station shoots me back to times of hanging out with him and mowing his lawn. And of my sister and older cousins never letting me run around in the high grass/woods behind grandpa's house with them....but I still followed them out there. Ha.

Anyway, back to the living-at-home thing, even though I'd rather not live with my parents and would rather live in my own apartment right now, in all honesty I don't think I'm ready for that. Currently. The urge to move on is there, of course, but I think I'm doing better at controlling it because I don't absolutely hate the town I live in nor do I hate my job. I like my job. I find it easy to like it, even if it is stressful sometimes. But I think that when I am absolutely ready and that I can feel that I'm ready, I'll move on. Right now I'm just not ready. It's been a tough year. The healing process continues.

Lately, I've found myself listening to a lot of Christian music. Mainly the Christian radio station here. Mainly because it's like the only FM radio station that comes in... But it has grown on me a lot. Some of the songs I will still find kind of lame, but it's mainly the beat to it. It's like a beat I heard on Sesame Street when I was watching it with Shelby yesterday. Not all of it is like that, though, of course. I quit listening to it before because I had a bad attitude and just thought it was plain stupid. But I started actually paying attention to the songs more and more and realized that a lot of people are singing about struggle. Not about how perfect and awesome their life is (like I previously just assumed). I guess it struck me that they were singing about their own human struggles and yearning for Jesus. I just had this presupposition that all (well, most) Christian music never related to me because I was/am sinful and yearned for the Lord all the time and felt ignored. But then I thought about some of my friends and how I have seen them go through some of the hardest times of their lives, but in the midst of all of it seek God. I never sought God. I just gave up. I saw my best friend go through the hardest time of her life and never once did she give up on God. It genuinely touched me.

I think I am coming out of the phase of hating my life and feeling ashamed. Especially about God. I know in my heart that when I stray from God and get a bad attitude, bad things happen. I hope that I can just continue to grow more faithful and trusting.

The end of "Rain Down" by David Crowder, the part where it's just him re-singing the chorus but the beat cuts out a little bit and it's just mainly the acoustic guitar...I love that part of the song so much. It reminds me of sitting in a tall green grass field with the sun shining down and my eyes closed and the breeze sweeping across me and the grass.

Here's my take (stolen from Kylee) on my top/favorite movies of the '00s. I'm not really going to delve into a huge description of why, though, because I just don't feel like it. Maybe only a sentence or two.

In no order...
1. The Bourne Series (counted as one)- I believe that Jason Bourne is 9089078967897 times better than James Bond. And better looking. It is a life goal of mine to travel everywhere Jason Bourne has gone. And I HOPE HOPE HOPE that they make the fourth one! Cross your fingers.

2. Gladiator- I heart Ridley Scott's directing style. And I especially heart that part where Maximus chops off the guy's head with a couple swords. It's oh so entertaining. And this movie single handedly made me want to pursue a career in the Gladiator arts.

3. Collateral- I like the storytelling, how it takes place in one night. And it's good storytelling at that. This movie has a lot of symbolism in it, too, that you can only pick up on if you really dig deep into it- like a gray coyote in the middle of Los Angeles. WTF, mate? So creative.

4. The Departed- Not a lot of people like this movie. I LOVE THIS MOVIE. The plot is so interesting and the acting is great (probably because of the all-stars in it). I think what I mainly like though is Leonardo DiCaprio's character. I think he acts it out so well. I love movies that have a dark, complicated, completely alone character that we get to see act naturally in their environment.

5. The Devil Wears Prada- Who knew that a fashion movie could be so appealing to me? I don't know what it is about this movie but it is so damn interesting! Well researched and well acted thanks to Meryl and Annie. It's surprisingly awesome.

6. Walk the Line- I really don't care about Johnny Cash or June Carter, but Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon make me care about them as I watch this movie. The fact that Joaquin and Reese sound SO much like Johnny and June baffles me everytime I watch it. I think this movie is mainly that acting that does it for me. It just amazes me that two actors would go through the trouble to learn how to sing and play intruments.

7. Atonement- One word for this movie: gorgeous. This movie, although sad and heart-breaking, is beautifully shot. The colors and the composition and filters of this movie are just absolutely beautiful. It's entirely mesmorizing to watch.

8. Panic Room- This movie is just plain cool to watch. Two things stick out to me- one is the cinematography because the camera takes us to and from places I didn't know was possible with a camera. Another is Kristen Stewart does a seizure scene in this movie that I think is wonderfully acted on her part. Everytime I see it I seriously cringe.

9. State of Play- The ability of this film to convey a complicated plot at a decent pace. I am on edge this entire movie. I am never on edge during movies. (Minus Jason Bourne of course. He just wins at life.)

10. Momento- Christopher Nolan is just a phenomenal director and he's totally underrated. Everytime I watch this movie and think about all the filmmaking that goes into it, it just blows my mind to dissect. I'm just amazed that someone can have such an amazing image of a film in their head and then convey it on actual film so well. It's masterful.

If Run Lola Run was made in the '00s, then it earns a spot on my honorable mention, but I'm not sure if it was. Lol. I think it was.

Random memory of the week: When I was at LAFSC, my buddy Tony and I were meandering about on Hollywood Blvd. and there was this girl holding up a sign that said "FREE HUGS!" People would walk over to her and get a hug. It was kind of funny. She was right where all the characters were-Spiderman, Batman, Jack Sparrow, Freddie Krueger, etc. Anyway, we went over to her and got our free hugs. She was a pretty good hugger. The weird thing was that it wasn't even awkward. The end.

So tonight, Dad made spaghetti. I went to get my plate ready and set it down on the counter. I picked it up and noticed that I had some wet substance on my finger after I picked it up. I looked at my finger, saw that the wet substance was red and thought it was spaghetti sause. Yeah, no. Turns out it was HAMBURGER BLOOD FROM THE HAMBURGER IN THE SAUCE. DAD!!!!!!!! It tasted so gross. I seriously wanted to puke my guts out. I could have smacked him, too. It's like, tell me it's there OR clean it up! The thought of it still makes me gag. Then I thought about how some cultures drink animal blood (and maybe human blood?). How do they do this? It absolutely do NOT taste good. Then I thought about people on Fear Factor eating buffalo testicles.

Anyway... I went over to Julee's on Friday night to hang with the gang. It was just the girls for a couple hours. We mainly talked about puking, pooping, burping, farting, whatnot... Ya know, things that you would think only dudes would talk about. But no. Later we played Catchphrase. Ya know, I don't think there is any other game that can make me laugh as hard as that game. I can laugh so hard during that game that I cry. One of my words was "Virginia". So I said, "OK! THIS IS A STATE BELOW NORTH CAROLINA!!!" And my team (girls v. guys) screamed out, "SOUTH CAROLINA!!!!!!!!" I totally forgot that South Carolina even existed. Had I remembered it existed, I would have then remembered that Virginia is definitely NORTH of North Carolina. Hurrr...

There was a point to this journal entry...but I've seemed to have forgotten it. So I will continue to babble. The other night, I was coming home and a dog-looking thing walked across the road in front of me. It was white or gray and had RED EYES. I knew it wasn't a deer because it had red eyes. Deer eyes glow green. Trust me, I know. I was convinced it was a werewolf, and it went running into our front woods.

Let's back up here: Diana has been terrified of werewolves since age 5. Why, you ask. Well, back in the 80s, this little Steven King movie called "Silver Bullet" came out. It was a movie about a small town that was being stalked by a werewolf and people kept mysteriously dying off and showing up mainly shredded to pieces. The main family it centered around, yeah, well, their house looked somewhat like my house and they had woods surrounding it and everything. And there is this one scene where this girl is laying in her bed and all the sudden the flippin' werewolf comes flying through her window. Since then, I'm not kidding you, I have always thought about a werewolf flying through my bedroom window and devouring me. The woods are right outside my window. I'm serious. I have this thought often as I go to fall asleep. Then there is this other scene where the town goes werewolf hunting (great idea!) in the woods. Except, it's foggy out and they can't really see below them (the fog is setting in thick about chest deep) and the werewolf is under the fog and starts getting all of them.

I am freaking myself out.

ANYWAY, back to reality here. I pull in my driveway. And book it into my house, the whole time thinking to myself, "IT'S BEHIND ME! IT'S BEHIND ME! I CAN FEEL IT! AHHHHHHH!" I get in the house. Go to my bedroom. Look at the window, wondering if a werewolf is going to come flying through it. And seriously think to myself if there is any silver in the house that I can melt into a silver bullet. Then I realize how ridiculous this is...mainly because dad doesn't have a rifle or handgun...and also because werewolves don't exist!!! Right...? Anyway, next day dad tells me it was a coyote. And that him and Brent heard them attacking each other while they were out hunting. He said they heard them howling and it was very "erie."

And the werewolf in "Silver Bullet" looked like a fricken bear anyway!

I just watched the show "Intervention." Drug addiction really fascinates me.

Wow, I am freezing.

Welp, I got my blood work results back and the doc wants to up my dosage a little more. I can't remember if I said this before but he changed the brand of medicine I was taking. Before, I was taking the generic script (which a lot of people do, like my dad) but I was having adverse effects from it that felt like hyperthyroidism. Let me recap for you: HYPERTHYROIDISM IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. Anyway, after going and seeing him and telling him that I felt as though I was going to jump thru the roof of my house because I was so wired, he gave me the real deal-the real Synthroid. And since being on it for a month, the effects are MUCH less than when I was on the generic. So, I'm just hoping that the next dosage of the new drug doesn't make me want to jump through the roof for any reason. Prayers for that would be appreciated... :)

Work. I've been working usually 40 hours a week for the past month. I just took my 30 day exam this morning and passed it. I'm not sure how many hours I'll be getting after the new year. Technically I'm part time, but they are short-staffed so I really don't know what's going to happen. I'm finding being a teller stressful. It's a lot of responsibility and procedure. I'm sure I think it's stressful because it's still new, and I do like it and I consider it "dignified". It's just pressure that I don't want. Everyday I think about having a videography job... ahh... I am extremely thankful for the job I have right now, though, especially in such a small town. And I will say that I don't want to tackle and beat down customers that walk through the door like I did in retail. So, see? Things are looking up.

Home. I'm kind of getting tired of living at home now. It's really nice not having to pay rent or expense, but now the whole "loser" aspect of all of it is coming into play. But I think about how I've come home and it's been good that I'm at home just with taking care of my idiotic thyroid gland. But I keep thinking about my 25th birthday. And how I'll be 25 and living with my parents. At first this didn't bother me. Now it's kind of starting to bother me.

But then I think about it. I ask myself, Where do you want to live, Di? And to be honest I don't really know. I know I really really wish that I lived in the Pacific Northwest as did my family and friends. But I don't think I will live there anytime (soon). At least, I'm not going to set it as a goal for myself because I've found that if I set a goal for myself (ie move to North Carolina and get a video job), something goes wrong for me to achieve that goal. And so then I just feel like a total fool and failure. Kim, my co-worker, asked me the other day what/where I was planning on going with this job. I thought about it for a second and then told her that I really have no idea. If I start focusing on too many things I just get stressed out. Right now I am focusing on my health and learning my new job. Little by little.

So I don't really know what's going to happen with my life. I'm at a point where I am totally unsure about anything. Before, I was sure. Or at least I thought I was. It's kind of forced me to take things slower and really think about things, which is good I suppose. I just want all these normal things to fall into place soon....reliable job....apartment...things that should fall into place for a 25 year old.

I am just really REALLY hoping and praying that age 25 will be 1 million times better than ages 23 and 24 were. Sorry this was totally boring.

So my sister asked me earlier this week if I wanted to go to the “All Male Review” happening this weekend in town. I asked her what this was and she said it was guys dancing but like funny guys, not your regular stripper-looking guys. She compared it to that SNL skit with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze where they are both trying out to be Chippendales dancers and it's kind of a joke on Chris Farley because well, he does not look like a Chippendales dancer and Patrick Swayze does. Machen said the guys at the All Male Review are like Chris Farley in that skit.
So, thinking this was going to be some huge joke/parody/comedy, I went along. And when I got there, what I got was a total strip show. G-strings. Naked butts. Dollar bills. Scandalous music. Macho guys (well, minus 1). Lap dances. Horny women. The first guy comes out dressed in leather and chaps and knee high boots (ahahahhaha), dresses down to his g-string, walks over to some chick, KISSES HER, and does a little lap dance for her. I see this happen. And I freak out.
I begin to wonder where Chris Farley is in all of this. No, I don't like watching half-naked fat guys dance, but the comedy of it would be kind of funny. No fat guys. Zero. Out comes the second guy. He does his little dance at center-stage on a volunteer from the audience and his act is complete. But, after each act, all the guys (or whoever has gone already) scatter about the room and perform dances on random people of their choosing OR people who wave dollar bills in the air over their heads or the heads of their friends.
So after the second guy is done, there are 2 naked guys (I definitely saw bare nekked man ass) wearing g-strings running around the room giving dances to people. So, I'm sitting on the end of a row not making eye contact with ANYONE. Just looking down...sipping my drink...minding my own business...when I feel someone playing with my hair. I'm thinking it's Machen because she is sitting right next to me. Yeah no. It's a stripper. Behind me. Previously, I had seen what they did to girls facing them as they danced and I had seen what they did to girls who WEREN'T facing them when they danced. It definitely involved grabbage of certain body parts. Ok, so I feel someone tickling my hair. I realize it's a stripper. What do I do? I make a b-line for the door. I don't think I've ever moved that fast before in my life. So...he left. I scared him away.
Mind you, these women are fearless. Acts I've never wanted to see happening right in front of me. Songs I've never wanted to hear playing right before my very ears-songs I've never heard because they are too raunchy and nasty to play on the radio. All of this going on...and I'm just sitting their with my head down and eyes fixed on the ice cubes in my drink.
So enter third stripper. He is a “construction worker”. Why is it that construction workers are supposed to be like all sexy and stuff? All the construction workers that I've passed on the road have had like 3 teeth and a mullet... but nevertheless, the comparison between the two still exists. The odd thing was that the two guys before said construction worker weren't dressed up as anything...so I wondered why this guy was dressed up as something “sexy”. I quickly decided that there must be wrong with him or something. And when he entered the stage, I saw exactly what was wrong with him. HE WAS APPROXIAMATELY TWELVE YEARS OLD. Ok, well maybe not 12 but he definitely DID NOT look a day over 18. AND he was built like the same build as ME. In fact, I might weigh more than him. The other guys were JACKED up. At this point, I got up to go pee. I come back out and find that he isn't wearing a g-string like the other guys did. He's wearing striped boxers.
First, I really didn't care that the other guys were wearing g-strings because I was totally not into this at all. I really didn't care that this twelve year old was wearing boxers. But I just found it odd the he was wearing boxers. Not that I was totally disappointed or anything, but what kind of a stripper wears boxers? So anyway, as I'm texting back and forth with Kara during all of this, all of the strippers once again makes their dances around the room, including the twelve year old (who, remember, is not really twelve but looks like it). The kid comes behind me. So, I see Machen standing up at the bar and I immediately run to the bar to her. She's like WHAT WHAT'S WRONG! I'm like nothing...So anyway, I'm standing there just hanging out and the fricken kid comes behind me and touches his ass to mine. I just roll my eyes and think to myself how I feel like a damn pedophile now. As if I'm not already going to hell for going to a strip show but now I'm going to hell also because I'm a pedophile. I think in Dante's Inferno, pedophiles reside in about the 6th circle of hell.
So after that little shennanigan, I go call Kara in like the back corner of the bar where no strippers can find me and touch me. I get done chatting it up and see people out on the dance floor, women and naked stripper men included. Crap. I like to dance. Really I do. But not with strange naked men. Son of a. I'm gonna look like a total loser sitting at the table all by myself. So, I decide to go order myself a pepsi on the rocks (to make it look like an actual mixed drink so people won't harass me) and sit at the table until these men put some clothes on. Or leave.
The MC (who was also a stripper and did come over to me, but once again I screamed and ran away) asked everyone to go back to their seats so they could finish up. Anyone who wanted a picture with the guys (gag me) or an autographed poster or t-shirt (get over yourself) with the guys could come on up. So, we were just kind of standing around watching people get their picture taken with the guys. And I thought it was funny to see these huge, muscular, jacked up guys and then this super skinny KID in this picture. But hey kid, you got confidence. More power to ya. So, we're just standing there, not too far from the picture taking action and Machen says “someone should pants that kid! That'd be funny!” So what does my brother's girlfriend do? She pantses him right there in front of everyone. That'll teach him to wear boxers I guess.
Also, they did a raffle ticket and whoever won got to remove the g-string from one of the strippers of her choice. BUT(t), she had to remove it with her teeth. And so, she did. And then he wrapped it around her head. Lovely.
Well, the night goes on and the strippers stop (thank God), so I take to the dance floor because I deem it safe enough to enter. No guys to worry about coming up from behind trying to get their freak on with me. So, we're dancing away, and I realize that what I DO have to worry about is CHICKS dancing up on me! WHY DO GIRLS DO THIS WITH EACH OTHER?!?!?!?! WHY WHY WHY! WHY DO CHICKS BUMP AND GRIND WITH CHICKS! YOU LOOK LIKE DAMN FOOLS. STOP DOING THIS. Ok, if you're lesbians that's one thing. But if you're not, just...why? Why? Stay away from me. I do not want to grind with you. Ever. Not even if you're my friend. Jen, Randi, Kara, I will never grind with you. Ever. Sorry.
Anyway, I'd just like to make a point. I have a great sense of humor and all. But when it comes to strippers and lap dances, I am just not a good sport with that stuff. So, please don't ever get me strippers for my bachelorette party. I will have my mean face on the entire time if you do this. Then I was wondering if this night is something that I'll need to tell my husband about...

Oh, let me just say, I didn't see any mommy-daddy buttons tonight because either the strippers had their g-string on or I wasn't looking hard enough. So, in that respect I am still pure.

And I would just like to ask everyone to pray for my soul. For I knew not what I was getting myself into.

And finally, I didn't get the memo that I had to dress like a hooker either.